100 Days To Change Your Life – The #100dayhabit.

In this article, I talk about how to change your life in 100 days… 

How long does it take to give up smoking? Eat more healthily? Get fit? Be a better parent? Learn to be happy?

The answer is not clear. Partly because everything and everyone is different and partly because it depends upon what you call change.

It has often been said that change happens in an instant and that, of course, has to be true. You give up smoking when you put out your last cigarette. You eat more healthily when you stop buying cakes, biscuits and processed food. You become a better parent when you start engaging with your children more effectively.

You can change your life in an instant but it’s not always as simple as that…

Since having a health scare and having our children, I had put on weight. I had reduced the amount of exercise that I was doing and, in lieu of nights out, my wife and I regularly ate richer food at home as a treat and to make the small amount of time that we had by ourselves special. I partook in more hotel, plane and restaurant food, did less exercise and just generally took my eye off the ball.

Fast forward a few years years and I wasn’t feeling great, so I decided to do something about it. I started to do exercise and eat more healthily and I abstained from junk food… for a few days. And then I would fall off the wagon. And then I would abstain. And then I would fall of the wagon. You get the idea.

I was getting nowhere fast.

The issue at hand was that I had built up bad habits. I had got used to a certain type of behaviour and, even though change happens in an instant, it does not necessarily stick. And if you want to be successful at thing, you need change to stick.

  • Want to be more healthy? Healthy eating and exercise have to stick. They have to become habit.
  • Want to be more professional in your job? Then focusing on constant improvement has to stick. it has to become habit.
  • Want to be a better parent? Then spending quality time every day with your children has to stick. It has to become habit.

It’s not complicated but not complicated does not necessarily make things easy. I don’t lack knowledge or motivation around fitness but that alone does not guarantee my success. And I am sure many of you, whether with business, sales, fitness, healthy eating, relationships, finances, study, or whatever, will have experienced the same…

You know what to do. You have the skills to do it. You want it. You seemingly have the motivation… but it just doesn’t happen or it doesn’t happen consistently.

And that is exactly why I created the #100dayhabit.

The #100dayhabit is a methodology for claiming back your life. For claiming back the life that you could have, the successes that you can have, the results that you want. It is designed to literally help you be more, do more and have more.

The #100dayhabit is a process of committing to your goals for 100 days. Religiously. No excuses. No giving up. No backing down. No surrender.

The #100dayhabit is a commitment to doing what it takes for 100 days to turn the actions that you want in your life into sustainable habits that stick.

The #100dayhabit can help you to change your life.

But the #100dayhabit is not for wimps. It is not for wannabes or dreamers. It is not for drifters and dropouts.

The #100dayhabit is for people that want to make real, sustainable changes in their lives and set themselves on the path to previously unachievable success.

Is that you? Do you want to change your life? 

Do you want to be fitter? Slimmer? Healthier? Do you want to build more new business? Negotiate more effectively? Get promoted? Influence more persuasively? Be a better parent? Save more money?

Whether it is one of these things or something else, #100dayhabit will help you to get on track and stay on track.

I am really looking forward to sharing with this you and cannot wait to hear about your personal wins and successes. So, here is the 7 step process.

It’s simple and its powerful and you need to follow every step.

#100DAYHABIT: The 7 Step Process To Achieving More In Your Business & In Your Life.

  1. Decide what you want, define your outcomes and set your goals.

    Where does the energy and drive come from to achieve true success? From within. You have to decide what your wants and outcomes are and you have to set your goals. Someone else’s will never be as effective as you, you will never be as motivated by them and they might just be wholly wrong for you.

    When I decided to take on my #100dayhabit, I focused on health and fitness. I told everybody what I was doing (see point 5) and I got lots of advice and feedback.

    I had people advising me to run half marathons, people telling me to join a gym, people sending me healthy eating plans, people telling me to download apps that count calories and people asking me to join their teams to take part in tough mudders, mountain climbs and log carrying races.

    I was genuinely touched at peoples’ kindness and participation but I also needed to stay on track and not get distracted. I don’t want to run marathons nor do I want to wallow in mud. I don’t want to spend hours every day training nor do I want to never experience a piece of beautiful home-baked bread, toasted and dripping in butter and strawberry jam.

    No, I want to be fit for life. I want to wake up feeling good. I want to eat healthily and have a healthy body. I am 47 and have two small children (three and one) and I want to be able to run and play with them when I am sixty and they are early teens. I want the stamina to travel the world and give my energetic performances as a motivational speaker. I want the muscle to be able to move well and minimise the metabolic slow down that comes at my age.

    And I want all of this to be sustainable… something that I can do now and that I will also be able to do in ten, fifteen and twenty years time. As I said, I want to be fit for life.

    You get the idea. What is important for you if you want to change your life is that you set outcomes and goals that you believe in, that are right for you and that you want.

    A large part of sticking to a plan is knowing why you want it and reminding yourself of that. My motivation was multiple… You need to know what yours is and keep it firmly in your mind. This is one of the things that will keep you on track when you err.

  2. Commit and tell everyone.

    What can I say? You have to commit. Not slightly. Not partly. Entirely. With every sinew of your being. True commitment is giving yourself to something with no other options. No back up plans. No way out. Burn your bridges.

    True commitment is putting yourself on the line and saying, “I am going to do that. That is who I am going to be. That is who I am.”

    Ballsy? Yes. Risky? Maybe. The best way to do it? Absolutely.

    Once you decide and commit you need to tell your friends, tell your colleagues and tell the world. Tell someone, tell anyone, tell everyone. The more people that you tell that you’re going to change your life, the better.

    Telling people makes your plan real. Telling people checks your commitment. Telling people makes it impossible (well, hard) for you to give up when the going gets tough. Telling people sends a signal to your unconscious mind that you are serious about the new you.

    With my fitness #100dayhabit I told everyone. I told friends and family. I told clients. I told tens of thousands on my newsletter and far more through my blog and videos. I made it impossible for me to back down. I even made it part of my brand and talked about it in my speeches. Failure was not an option and that is what you need to do in your own way, too.

    I am a big fan of tough love so here’s some… If you are struggling with this step, maybe this is not the right goal for you. Maybe it’s not the right time, maybe it’s not as important as you think, maybe something is getting in your way. If that is the case, then you need work out what is wrong and rectify it before you move on. And if you’re still not sure, then maybe it’s a plan that you just need to drop for the moment…

  3. Focus on the journey.

    #100dayhabit is all about the journey. It is all about your actions. It is all about who you become as you change. For sure, set yourself a target to win a certain amount of new business or reach a certain weight but what is far more important than that achievement is who you become along the way. #100dayhabit is not about the result, it is about how you change your life.

    If you adopt the behaviours of a fit and healthy person successfully, they can stay with you for a life time and you will reach your target weight (if it was realistic) eventually. Likewise, if you consistently display sales success habits, you will achieve sales success eventually, if you consistently display the behaviours of a good parent you will become one and if you consistently display the behaviours of a committed student you will become one.

    Enjoy the journey. Experience the change. Know that sales, business and life are not defined by one experience. Everyone is wrong in the X-Factor when they say, “This is my last chance.” That’s true only if you want it to be.

  4. Create your action plan.

    Actions count. Actions are everything. In one of my favourite movie quotes Batman says it, “It’s not who I am underneath. It’s what I do that defines me.” And I could not have said it better nor more menacingly.

    You need to work out what you need to do and you need to schedule it into your days and into your diary. Every day. Every day for 100 days. In the diary.

    No debate, no questions, no excuses.

    I go into companies and they say they want to be better at sales and yet they schedule no time for training, coaching or development. How are they going to achieve that then? Sales osmosis? Magic, pixie dust? Divine intervention?


    The reason most people fail is that they do not consistently do what they need to do to succeed. Period.

    If this thing really is important to you, if you really want to change your life, then you need to commit to your actions, you need a plan.

  5. Take action.

    Do it. Do it the next day. Do it again. And again. For 100 days. And voila, somewhere along the way it will become what you do. It will become habit.

    And that’s what you want. Once it’s habit, you won’t require as much energy and focus to keep yourself committed to it because it’s just what you do, it’s who you are, it’s how you live. 

    But in the meantime, just do it. It’s the easiest of the points but it’s one that many people fall down on. And then…

  6. Review it. Every day.

    If something is worth doing, it is worth reviewing. Sit down and the end of the day and review what you did. If you know that you’re going to be checking up on yourself at the end of the day, you are far more likely to take action. Make letting yourself down an absolute no no, the ultimate trespass against yourself.

    But, here’s the thing, if you do have a bad day, get over it. Don’t beat yourself up. I had days when I couldn’t be bothered, days when I ate burger and ice cream and days when I didn’t move from the sofa (albeit after late nights with the kids)… and that’s okay. What is critical is that you learn from the experience, forgive yourself, check your motivation, remind yourself of why you’re doing this, set your activities for the next day and redouble your efforts and focus.

    Likewise, if you feel you need to tweak your actions, great. You are demonstrating that you have a brain, that you are flexible and that you are learning from your journey.

    My reasons for doing what I was doing did not change but my approach and my actions did as I learned from my experiences and fine-tuned my actions.

  7. Celebrate & move on.

    Celebrate your successes both during and at the end of your #100dayhabit. Celebrations and rewards are important. Well done, you have created a new you and a new destiny. You have managed to change your life.

    And, once you’ve celebrated, think about the future. You don’t want to slip back into bad habits so make sure that you remember why you wanted the habit, set yourself goals, keep scheduling time for your actions and have periodic reviews of both your activity and your progress.

I have just completed my #100dayhabit and I feel awesome. I have lost one and a half stone, dropped two trouser sizes and feel full of energy. I can give more in work and play and feel fantastic. And I still have more progress to make but it will be easier now because it’s habit. 

So what about you? Do you want to change your life? Or an aspect of your life? Are you in? What do you want? What is your #100dayhabit? What could you do with focusing on? Let me know  either on my Facebook page or by using the #100dayhabit hashtag to share your progress, wins, learns and successes.

I look forward to hearing from you.

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37 Principles For Living An Amazing Life

I am currently on holiday, reading some great books, spending time with my family and indulging in rest, relaxation and rejuvenation. This time of year when I am not on the road is important to me as it gives me time to focus on my own self-development, creates space to develop new ideas and programmes and gives me real quality time to spend with my wife and children.

Although I planned my business and my life to work like this, I still feel a huge sense of gratitude. A sense of gratitude that I can spend this amazing time with my family, a sense of gratitude that I can enrich my mind and a sense of gratitude that all of this will enable me to help others be more, do more and have more in their lives.

One of my favourite gigs of last year was an unpaid one at a local school. I spoke with the 6th form on how to have the mental toughness to walk their own path and connect with what is truly important to them. For the last year, barely a week has gone by when I have not been recognised and thanked for how much it helped them focus both before and during their exams. To be able to help in this way is humbling.

As you know, most of my clients are corporate clients who book me to focus on mental toughness and sales via my motivational talks and coaching. During these talks and sessions many things are shared depending upon the audience and, in this spirit of sharing, I thought I would share 37 principles for living an amazing life that I have learnt and taught over the years that have made a significant difference in mine and other peoples’ lives…

  1. Get up every day and be grateful for what you have. Focusing on what you don’t have is an energy sucker. Start from a place of gratitude and you will be more motivated and achieve more.
  2. Spend time getting in touch with what is truly important to you. Our values shape and drive us. Stop living someone else’s life and live your own.
  3. Success is defined by you. Only you know what will make you happy, make you content and satisfy you. Take time to define your success.
  4. Use visualisation. Proper use of visualisation techniques for goal setting, future pacing, practising and rehearsal is paramount for success.
  5. Talk positively to yourself. Stop beating yourself up verbally and be your own best success coach. Silence your inner critic and embrace the cheerleader within.
  6. See other peoples’ perspectives. People do things for a reason. Work out what it is. You will find it easier to connect with friends, family, colleagues, staff…
  7. Save money at the start of every month. Money is a poor motivator. Many people do things for money. That is not the path to happiness. Focus on creating a financial cushion so that you have more choices and are less focused on making a quick buck.
  8. Lose the technology. Give 100% attention to people. Turn of the darn tech and focus on really connecting with those around you.
  9. Listen.
  10. Seek to understand what people are really saying and stop translating it into your language and your model of the world. Take a trip to theirs.
  11. Do one thing at a time. Really. It’s liberating.
  12. Get fit. It’s important. Really important. Eat well, sleep well, exercise well. Move. Every day.
  13. Spend time with your kids. You can buy them the world but they just want your time and your love. They’d rather play hand made games with you than bank emptying games by themselves.
  14. Spend time with your parents. They have feelings for you no-one else ever will and they won’t be here for ever.
  15. Know that love is a verb. It’s not a noun. It’s a set of actions. It’s how you behave. You create it. It’s not something that happens to you. Spend quality time with your partners or significant others.
  16. Be authentic. Be yourself. Live your live. Remember Polonius.
  17. Focus on activities not results. Activities drive habits and habits drive results. Focus on what you need to do daily to be the person that you want to be.
  18. Be polite. Say thank you. Say please. Manners cost nothing. But they mean everything. Politeness sets you apart.
  19. Help someone. Help anyone. Do you know someone who could do with a hand? Family? Friend? Neighbour? Wider community? A more connected community starts with you. A better society starts with simple actions.
  20. Give money regularly. Give to charity. Give to the poor. Give to people less fortunate than you.
  21. Be positive. Focus on positivity. See possibility. Practise being positive until you just do it naturally. Being positive is a habit. One worth cultivating.
  22. Be in the moment. Be present. Savour life. Notice the small things as well as the big ones. Take in the dew on the grass, the wind in your hair, the beauty of a sunset… Don’t let life pass you by.
  23. Smile.
  24. Breathe. Spend time breathing. Get air in your lungs. Close your eyes. Focus. Even if only for 15 seconds.
  25. Take action. The best action is the one you do. Don’t wait for perfection and end up procrastinating and prevaricating. Get out in the world and take action. Do something. Do anything.
  26. Read every day. Read personal development books, biographies, subject matter books, fiction. Just read. Apart from helping you relax and focus, reading also keeps you on top of your game and might well help stave off many diseases.
  27. Don’t do technology in bed. Seriously. It’s bad for sleep, it’s bad for posture and it’s bad for your sex life.
  28. Protect your thinking. It’s the most important thing you have along with your health. Don’t let others infect you with negativity or destructive mental patterns and thoughts.
  29. Take responsibility. If you want love, money, success, happiness, joy… take responsibility for it. 100% responsibility. Stop blaming others. Your life has nothing to do with them, it’s down to you.
  30. Give compliments every day.
  31. Give 100% and when you’re done, stop. If something is worth doing, do it well. Then do something else.
  32. Do less. Do it better. Stop rushing. Work out what is really important. Do that.
  33. Spend time on personal development. Have a vision for your life, set goals, define daily actions, hold yourself accountable, keep a record, visualise, form a mastermind team.
  34. Spend time with inspirational people. You become most like the people you spend the most time with… you know that.
  35. Hug. Hold hands. Kiss. Embrace. Maybe not random strangers but definitely those that you love.
  36. Do one act of random kindness every day.
  37. Work hard. Be the best that you can be. Make your work your masterpiece, whatever it is. Be the best salesperson you can be, or the best managing director, or the best firefighter, or the best dish washer…

I never used to write lists. I was too worried about them being the perfect list. Too concerned about what I might have omitted. But it doesn’t matter. This is my list of 37 Principles For Living An Amazing Life today… and therefore it’s perfect. Hopefully you found it useful.

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Customer Service WOW! vs Customer Service Woe

On giving that customer service wow… When I am not away speaking somewhere, I like to break my days up with a coffee and a sandwich at a local cafe. I take my iPad. Sometimes I write. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I update my todo list. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I “do” social media. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I might read The Times. I often do the crossword.

I generally see it as a refresher and if my wife and kids are out it also means that I get to speak to someone other than myself. I am pretty sure that it harks back to reading Paddington Bear as a child. Paddington always took elevenses with Mr Gruber and I always thought, “What a splendid idea.”

The truth is that it allows me to separate my day, plan activities and do some work… and there are some activities, blog writing for example, that I just do better when there is some noise around me. Anyway, the point is that I go to this cafe regularly. They know me. And I am a good customer.

“The usual Gavin?”
“Yes please.”

Predictable money. In the till. Bosh!

Or not bosh. Because they take me for granted. Not in a bad way. Not in a rude way. No, they have banter with me and ask me about my family and are generally nice. But they don’t serve me the same as they serve, say, a new customer. They don’t serve me fast and they don’t upsell me. Not even though history would suggest I want it.

Let’s put it this way, if I am there for an hour, I am good for a filter coffee, a ciabatta and a cappuccino. If I get into a blog post (or the crossword), maybe even another cappo. But they rarely get more than one coffee out of me because they don’t get to me fast enough and they rarely ask me if I want anything else.

I can hear you getting irate. “But Gavin, I don’t care about coffee.” Yes, I know but this isn’t about coffee. This is about customer service, sales and business. This is about turnover. This is about pure unadulterated profits.

Look at it this way, if I go into that cafe three times a week, 40 weeks of the year, that is at least 120 coffees lost. Up here in the North that would be at least £20. Just joking, £250. A lot of cash to a small business owner if they do that with a few customers. And maybe with others they are losing more expensive items like cakes or glasses of wine.

And it’s not just cafes, is it? I change mobile providers virtually every time my contract comes up. Why? Because I always discover that I could have been on a better rate but no-one told me. I move money around bank accounts. Why? Because the banks can’t be bothered to let me know that they have better options for me and because I have spent the last period of time failing to speak to anyone who cares about me or my money.

Many companies spend a fortune on acquiring new customers. They pay for advertising and they employ salespeople. Social media agencies work tirelessly to make them social and PR companies promote the heck out of them. They make promises, tout promotions and promise the earth. And all to win new clients, whatever the cost.

Many companies give the best offers to their new friends, they give the best service to their new squeeze and they go the extra mile for their new pals. They throw everything at them including the kitchen sink… and spangly, new taps… and a complimentary plumber… all to ensure that they hit their quotas. All to ensure that they keep on landing new customers.

And so often at the expense of existing clients. So often seemingly funded by existing clients. So often at the risk of upsetting and even losing dissatisfied, existing clients.

Existing customers and clients are critical for your business. You’ve already paid to acquire them. You’ve already done the hard work. They deserve to be cherished. They deserve the extra mile. They deserve the best you have to offer… and then some.

Here are my top 6 top tips for WOWing existing clients with amazing customer service…

  1. Do what you say you’re going to do.
  2. Be nice.
  3. Do it when you say you’re going to do it.
  4. Be nice.
  5. Do more than you say you are going to do.
  6. Be nice.

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It’s Your Birthday, What Do You Want From Your Life?

Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me!

I am sitting in a cafe writing this on my iPad whilst supping a tasty cappuccino. I am looking forward to an enjoyable lunch with my Mum, sister, wife and kids and then an early dinner out with just my three. My 3 year old daughter is beyond excited. She really gets that today is Daddy’s special day. What better gift could one want than a 3 year old bursting with joy because it is your Birthday? Makes today better even than my best childhood Birthday (sorry Mum).

I was tempted to give writing a skip today but as I sat here I felt inspired to write something. Something a bit more touchy feely than perhaps I normally write but important none-the-less. I want to talk about what makes you happy. What you want.

Many people will have no doubt tried to tell you what you should want during the course of your life. Possibly starting with your parents trying to prod you into certain hobbies, academic subjects, university courses and careers. They were probably supported by your teachers with their (and I am not knocking them here as my parents were both teachers) limited world view. How can most teachers have anything else when they have never worked or lived outside of academic institutions?

And, when you’re older a whole crowd of others from friends to colleagues and from personal development consultants to business srtategists – all want to tell you how to live your life.

As a motivational speaker it is important that I am on top of what’s out there so I have read and listened to these people over the years. Some of them have inspired me. Some of them haven’t. Some of them have interesting things to say. And some don’t. But they all tend to have one thing in commmon… they want to tell you how much you can be, how much you can do and how much you can achieve. And they all look at things from their own perspectives.

“Gurus” usually talk about millionaire and billionaire business people, top sports stars and people who have changed the world. They talk about famous names and people who have dedicated their lives to great causes. I don’t debate that these things are amazing nor that they can be motivational and if you want this kind of legacy then good on you. Go for it. Do it. Achieve it. Make your billions. Change the world.

But I have always doubted the relevance of these kinds of stories for many people. I just don’t think they resonate with many. Not at the level at which they make real changes anyway. They may be inspiring but when people try and take on these kinds of journeys they often clash with other important parts of their lives.

I remember reading a book called “Build Your Own Guthrie” by Dan Penna. You’ve probably never heard of him. I wouldnt expect you to have. You’re probably unlikely to read his book either as it cost me £277 to get my hands on it. Was it worth it? Maybe. Probably. Possibly not. Who can say?

Dan Penna is a billionaire. He scoffs at millionaires. He scoffs at half-hearted attempts to make it. Dan Penna is all in. He is committed. For him, billions are the only figures worth measuring. In his book, he describes how he never attended any of his children’s Birthday parties, missed his wedding anniversaries, never went on holidays and rarely made Christmas lunch. His mission was to grow businesses and make billions. Money clearly the driving factor for him. But that’s a rare world view. Rare indeed.

And that’s certainly not the life that I want. And it’s not the legacy I want. That’s not my journey. I don’t want to leave cash and businesses and kids who barely saw me. I don’t want to leave a wife who could do anything she wanted and walk around dripping in diamonds as big as the Ritz but we don’t get to spend any time together.

Did Dan Penna’s book help me? Yes. Did I get £277 of value from it? Yes. For me, it reinforced what was really important to me and helped me get rid of the last vestiges of inherited dreams of a legacy that I did not and do not want.

I have mentioned my grandfather before but not in detail. Poppa, as we knew him, was my Mum’s father. He knew what he wanted. He and his wife lived in a nice tree-lined street in St Annes-Upon-Sea. They lived in a typical early 1900s corner-plot semi with three bedrooms and one bathroom. My Mum and her sister were brought up there, at one point with Grannie too.

Poppa worked in a bank in St Annes. He worked as a cashier. And he worked there for his whole career, war excepting. He never took promotion because that would have meant moving to another branch and being unable to walk home for lunch with my Nana. He was happy with his role, his limited money and his job meeting people. He had time and energy for the people and the hobbies that he loved. He did not want to do extraordinary things, he wanted to do normal things in an extraordinary manner.

Poppa loved his small garden. He loved growing vegetables, fruit and flowers. He loved driving up to Fleetwood and Morecambe to buy fresh seafood. He loved spending time with his wife. He loved spending time with his daughters. He loved a beer. He went to the pub to meet his friends and have a drink. He played jazz on the piano.

Watching my Nana and my Poppa holding hands on their 50th wedding anniversary, doddery and old but still clearly in love was one of the most moving things that I have ever seen in my life.

He was happy. And his legacy is two well-balanced, happy daughters and grand-children who all remember him fondly. And, despite the fact that I would bet my bottom dollar than no-one ever spoke to him about his legacy, I know that he would have been delighted with his.

The point is that you must not let others dictate your dreams and your direction in life to you. You must not let others tell you how to think or what you want. You must not let others steer your course. If you do, you will never find the true you.

When I was 17, I was smart and intelligent but not interested in academia. I was going through the motions en route to university because that is what you do. As part of this, I applied for a university sponsorship from a major UK bank. Can any of you see me working in a bank? Any of you? Didn’t think so.

Anyway, on paper I looked great so I got short-listed and ended up in the last round of interviews where someone asked me what I wanted out of life. I hadn’t prepared any answer to this, no-one had schooled me on bank speak but I knew I should say something about career or international business or leadership or similar but I had had enough and I decided to be open and honest…

“I just want to be happy,” I said.

The three interviewers shifted uncomfortably and one followed up, giving me a chance to redeem myself, “And what would make you happy?”

“Getting up every day and feeling good about life. You know, happy.”

I did not “pass” the interview and I was not offered the sponsorship. Needless to say however, in true Alan Partridge style, I did get the last laugh…

20 years later… picture the scene. A large, corporate training centre based in acres of fields somewhere in the South of England. The sun is shining and leaders from all around the world are in attendance to learn about emotional intelligence – to learn how better to connect with others by understanding themselves, to learn how to be happy. Happy and more connected with themselves, with others and with their lives. They file in waiting to hear what the secret component is, waiting to hear what they’ve missed, waiting to hear the “expert”…


You couldn’t make this s**t up.

Please don’t misinterpret me here. This is not a missive to small thinking. This is not an excuse for inaction of epic proportions. This is not a call for people to down tools and lie on beaches.


This is a call to work out what is truly important to you. To work out what you really want your life to look like. To work out what you want your business to look like. And to take action to move towards that.

If you don’t, what’s the point?

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They Taught You How To Be… Check Out What Happens When You Ignore Them!

This article is about how to be authentic in business and in life.

You will have noticed that I have changed my approach over the last few months. You might know exactly what I have done and why. Or you might not. And that does not matter. The point is that things have changed.

You’ve probably noticed that I have shared with you stuff that I have never shared in a decade and a half of speaking and coaching. More personal stuff. Things about me, my family, my life, my background and my journey. I have also been much more open about sharing my opinions.

Some of you will have loved this. I will have connected with you better. We may even have had a conversation, either in person or over email. I have had many. My posts about giving money to people in the street, the myth of talent, and the folly of willpower have had more interactions than 95% of all of the other articles I have ever written.

And that’s good news.

Quite simply I made a decision to be more authentic. I made a decision to be more open. I made a decision to share more of myself, more of the time. I made a decision to let people know more about me and not just my strategies and principles for success.

In business and life today, many people are boring. They are unoriginal. They are walking, talking, carbon copies of who they think they ought to be. They get up in the morning, pull on their work clothes, adopt their work persona and check their true personality in as they leave their house and pick it up again when they come home at night…

Maybe this works for some. Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it is enough for some. Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s right for some people in some industries. Maybe it’s not.

In my opinion, it’s not.

If you try to toe the line and please all of the people all of the time, you will end up truly pleasing no-one.

You will end up in the middle of the pack. You won’t truly connect with your customers. You won’t create raving fans. You won’t be the talk of your industry. You won’t make jaw-dropping presentations. Your products won’t sizzle and you won’t achieve the success that you deserve.

When you compete for business, you will be apples vs apples when you want to be a passion fruit. When you interview for a role, you will be another candidate not THE stand-out superstar. When you work with your clients, you will be a supplier not a confidante, a friend and an adviser. You will never be the go-to authority.

In my experience, when you embrace true authenticity, maybe 20% of people will love you. They will adore you. They will follow you, work with you and buy from you. They will hire you, refer you and rave about you.

These people will make you more successful than you can imagine. These people will help you achieve your goals and your dreams. These people will support you, share with you and inspire you.

Another 60% of people will like what you do. They will buy from you. They will hire you. They will work with you. And that’s cool.

20% however will not like what you do. They will not like your message. They will not like your approach. They will not like your energy. They may not even like you.

Most people are not okay with this. They cannot stand the thought that they are being true to themselves and yet some people just do not like them. So they choose instead to play the safe game, the one where everyone thinks they are okay but no-one truly loves them or truly connects with them. They choose to walk the mediocre, more normal path.

Don’t do it.

Embrace the real you. Embrace possibility. Embrace everything you can be. Be the real you. Connect. Share. Live. Succeed.

And don’t think that this does not apply to you. Try this experiment…

Think of anyone in any walk of life who is amazingly successful. Anyone who has fans. Anyone who stands out. You will see that this equation applies.

It could be a singer, a comedian, a politician, a business magnate. For example, I like Alan Partridge. Love him. Think he is hilarious. I am not the only one…

“Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan!” Oh, come on, that’s funny shit!



Some people hate him. They do not think he is funny at all. (“Smell my cheese.”) Over their heads. Not funny. We are not amused.

And some are indifferent. My wife can take him or leave him. Does not hate him. But doesn’t get it either.

Does Steve Coogan (Alan Partridge) care? I doubt it. His raving fans have built him an amazing career and life and he wouldn’t swap that for some less authentic version of his comedy that engaged everybody slightly but nobody fully.

I have recently undertaken my #100dayfithabit exercise programme where I am sharing my 100 day mission to lose weight, get fit, feel great and build healthy, positive, fitness habits. I am sharing what I am doing, how I am feeling, my wins and my learns. I am not sugar coating it or sanitising it for public consumption.

I am sharing it. Sharing me. Being authentic. That’s how to be authentic. Just be.

I am doing the same with my blogs, my talks and my coaching. It’s good news for you. It’s good news for me and it’s good news for my business. If I can reach people, connect with people and share my journey in a way that motivates and inspires, then I am happy. If people who read my blogs and book me to speak feel more motivated, take more action, make more sales and achieve more success then that’s awesome.

Take some time now to think about how you can be more authentic. How you can be more natural, more open and more sharing with your prospects, your clients, your friends and your family. When you do, you will experience some amazing connections and you will be someone that no-one else can emulate.

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