Why is it that motivational speakers like me are always telling you what to do? Why is it that we always assume that you want to do more, be more and have more? Maybe you’re totally happy with your lot? Perhaps you don’t want to achieve more? Maybe your goal is to be a complete and utter failure? Perhaps you want to ensure that you do not succeed in sales, business or life?
With that in mind, here are my top 10 tips for guaranteeing that you make very few sales…
- Start late.
Always arrive at work at the last possible minute. Your aim is to walk through the door as the day starts. As you do so, ensure that you laugh loudly at those who have been sitting studiously at their desks for several hours of “their own time”.
- Go home early.
The early bird catches the worm. That’s what my Mum used to say. I am sure that she meant that you should leave work early. You don’t want to be giving that pesky employer one minute more of your time than you have to. Why put in one ounce more effort than you have to? Life is short, you need to get to the pub as fast as possible.
- Fail to plan.
Planning is boring. It’s for swots. You’re a fly-by-the-seat-of-the-pants, in-the-moment sales superstar. It’s all about your ability to turn it on at the last minute. You can do a good enough job without planning or preparing, so why bother?
- Prevaricate and procrastinate.
Delivery is like homework. As long as you get it done before the deadline, it’s fine. Your client can’t tell and doesn’t care so do the least you possible can and at the last possible minute.
- Over-promise and under-deliver.
We all know sales is about having the gift of the gab. It’s all about promises and fast talking. No-one does what they say they will so why should you. Win the contract and deliver the least you can get away with. Everyone else does.
- Lack passion and drive and go through the motions.
You are paid to come to work not to be the best in the world. Why should you switch it on when others plod along? Life’s not all about work. You have other far more important things to be investing your energy into.
- Make excuses and give reasons.
Let’s be honest, it’s not your fault that you lost the sale. You have a rubbish territory, poor clients, your product is over-priced and your support department don’t deliver what they say they will. You’ve done your bit, it’s not your fault if everybody else is an idiot.
- Compare yourself to average performers.
Look around the office. You’re not the worst. There are plenty of people doing and achieving less than you. Compared to them you’re a winner.
- Repeat your
Just because something didn’t work last time, doesn’t mean that it won’t work this time. You know what you’re doing, it was just bad luck that the deal did not go in. Keep on doing what you’re doing and it will all come okay in the end. After all, it has before… sort of.
- Don’t study or invest in your career (life).
You’re good at what you do. Why should you invest time and effort in listening to others? Those who can, sell… those who can’t, train… and all that. If your company wants you to study, it should be in their time and at their expense.
So, there you are. 10 tips that will help you to avoid success in any of its glittering guises. For more from me, make sure that you join my free success newsletter.