The more amenable you are and the more you help others, the more they will like you. And the more they like you, the more they will buy from you. Right?

Maybe not.

A paper co-authored by a University of Notre Dame professor shows that moderately disagreeable men earn an average of 18 percent, or $9,772, more than the average of moderately agreeable men.

Both groups of men, though, earn more than the average salary for women — regardless of their workplace disposition. And while women are still lagging behind men in pay, disagreeable women earned 5 percent, or $1,828, over their more pleasant peers.

Chicago Sun-Times.

So I guess the nice guy or girl really does finish last.

Maybe.

It’s obviously not that simple but as a motivational speaker I certainly do get to meet a lot of nice people who spend far too much time being nice and far too little being successful because they are too worried about upsetting people and saying “No”. Here are…

5 tips to stay out of the nice guy / gal trap…

1. Know what’s important to you and build your life and business around that.
   Don’t try and be everything to everyone. You’ll fail. When you follow your own path some people will love you, some people will hate you and some people will be indifferent. So what?
2. Set BIG goals that fire you up and get you motivated.
   And then break these down into objectives and actions. Without a plan you’re doomed to fail. You need to know what you should be doing every day to be successful.
3. Work your plan.
   It’s simple and it’s easy and it’s obvious but when people / things / events distract you, you’re going to get pushed off track unless you say “No”. You need to know why you’re saying “No” and what you’re supposed to be doing instead.
4. Stop doing things just to show you’re a “nice” person.
   Make a list of all of the things that you currently do for people just to prove you’re a “nice” person. You know, the things that add no value for your business, no value for your clients, no value for your prospects and no value for you. Make a decision to stop doing them and commit to it.
5. Manage relationships and expectations.
   Work out how you are going to reposition yourself with people and what explanations you are going to give. Think about how you are going to reposition yourself in the future with new clients and staff so that you don’t fall into this trap again.

5.5. Be nice.

Seriously. Be nice. Be nice whilst you’re saying “No”. Be nice whilst you’re not being nice. Be nice whilst you don’t do the things that other nice people do! There’s no need to be rude now is there.

No related posts.

One of my articles was feaured in Better Business Focus magazine, the essential key for business owners and managers, again this month. Better Business Focus magazine focuses on the way in which successful businesses in the UK compete and manage their organisations. It focuses on how people are recruited, coached and developed; on how marketing and selling is undertaken in professional markets as well as in markets with intense competition; on how technology and the Internet is reshaping the face of domestic and home business; and on how people are being equipped with new skills and techniques. In short, it offers expert inspiration for a better business.

To read this issue click here now. Featured in this month’s issue are…

• Game of chance by Bob Apollo. Tips and tricks for practive pipeline management. Article for sales directors, CFOs and finance directors.
• Coming over clearly by Amanda Vickers. How to make the right first impression. Article for sales directors, sales managers and salespeople.
• CSR or so what? by Graeme Crossy. How to use CSR to open doors for your business. Article for entrepreneurs, business owners and managers.
• Entreprenurial tips by Theo Paphitis. 5 tips to help you to improve your business. Article for entrepreneurs and business owners.
• How the Bowen technique can help yourposture and increase your productivity at work by Jo Lunn. How to correct your posture and feel more confident and positive. Article for everyone.
• Your slip is showing by Barry Urquhart. How to be different and to maintain your standards. Article for business owners, managers and retailers.
• Time to manage by John Niland. Time management and finance tips for consultants and business owners.
• Successful selling lying on your back by Gavin Ingham. Tips for improving your sales skills. Article for salespeople, sales managers, sales directors and business owners.
• 10 strategies to ensure that your marketing is a success by Chris Cardell. Tips on how to market your business more effectively. Article for marketing personnel, business owners, entrepreneurs and managers.

To read this issue click here now.

Related posts:

1. Sales Training & Business Tips From Better Business Focus Magazine
2. Better Business Focus: Weathering The Storm
3. Counter Culture, Motivation Strategies From Solutions The Magazine For Sagecover Members

Review of The 4-Hour Workweek; Escape 9-5, live anywhere and join the new rich. Thus Timothy Ferris titled his new book. And what a book…

There has been a lot of hype about this book. Some of it good, some of it bad. Take two conflicting and contrasting review comments on Amazon…

* 5-Star highly recommended, "A must read"

* 1-Star Shameless Self-promotion, "Please – please – don’t waste your time with this book. Catchy title – but that’s about it."

One thing is for sure, this book has generated a lot of chatter and a lot of reviews and they’re pretty diverse. Some of it is very negative saying that Timothy is exploiting people in the 3rd world, being underhand and devious, lacking integrity… and far more besides. It made me want to know what all of the noise is about. I could go on but if you want to read the rest go and read them yourself here.

In my opinion the reason for this avalanche of conflicting feedback is the whole concept behind the book. Think about it… To even consider a 4-hour working week or anything near it you are going to have to throw away many assumptions and practises that you currently have. You are going to have to break the mould and act radically differently to those around you. You are going to have to forge a different path. Let’s tweak a well-known NLP tenet for our own purposes here…

If you do what everyone else is doing, you’ll get what everyone else is getting.

99.99% of people do what everyone else is doing. They go to work for around about 9. They leave around about 5. They take lunch breaks. They work for someone else. They start work after school or university and then they retire as early as they can. Sometimes they get adventurous and take a gap year or a career break. Some even retrain and do something else…

Timothy proposes something else. Something radically different. And it is different. This, as Tim says himself in his opening chapters, is going to push a lot of people outside of their comfort zones. People don’t like it when someone challenges their "comfy" existence. They lash out. Surely, their world must be real. So they go on the attack to prove and pretend that "their" world is the only possible reality.

A couple of the reviews even claim that Timothy’s material is stolen from Jack Canfield, Michael Gerber and others but this is not true. For sure, many of his principles have been tried and tested elsewhere but Tim takes them on to another level, he puts a personal and more radical twist on them. Certainly Jack and Michael obviously did not think he had plagiarised their material when they said,

"It’s about time this book was written. It is a long-overdue manifesto for the mobile lifestyle, and Tim Ferriss is the ideal ambassador. This will be huge."
Jack Canfield

"The 4-Hour Workweek is a new way of solving a very old problem: just how can we work to live and prevent our lives from being all about work?  A world of infinite options awaits those who would read this book and be inspired by it!"
Michael E. Gerber

My thoughts…

This is a good book and well worth the cover price. One reviewer said that it was "overpriced"… they must have approached it with the wrong head on.

This book does exactly what it sets out to do. It outlines a radically different and mind-stretchingly challenging approach to time management, work ethics, career and life. There are tactics and tips in here for everyone. I have worked incredibly long hours, been involved with SME set up businesses, played the corporate game, worked for myself and consulted with businesses from one man bands to major corporates. If you choose to look for it there is something in here for everyone.

IF.

What’s more, it is an enjoyable read. I read this book in one sitting without putting it down and I knew from the first few pages that this would be the case.

I do not want to work a 4-hour week. I do not want to spend huge amounts of time in Berlin, Thailand or Argentina. I do not want to do many of the things that Tim has done.

But I can apply many of these things to get me more of what I want. The art and skill of personal development is in taking someone else’s material and making it work for you.

That is what you need to do with this book. So what will you get out of this book?

• An enjoyable read and an interesting story
• Your ideas and perceptions about what you "have to do" and how you "have to act" seriously challenged
• Some sound concepts for you to adapt and play with particularly around time management and personal effectiveness
• Several resources to help you apply the techniques

My favourite concepts and ones I will be picking up, expanding upon, testing out and trying and discussing with you are on outsourcing, email and prioritising. So look out for those in the weeks and months to come.

I recommend that you read The 4-Hour Workweek. I think it is unlikely that you will follow all of the ideas inside of it nor do I think you should. Its unlikely you will choose to copy Timothy Ferriss’ life but this is not the aim of this book. Read it. Challenge yourself. Find better ways to work and be more effective.

See look, it’s 9am, I’ve finished this and I have not checked my email yet. That does feel better already!

Related posts:

1. Making More Time To Make More Sales